Create your home away from home.
Create your home away from home – it’s simpler and cheaper than you think.
Many times, our adjustment fails in the country because there’s something that just doesn’t feel right, but we can't quite put a finger on it. It happened to me: I moved to a new country and rented a furnished apartment and I felt out of place. Since I thought the problem was the furniture, I moved to another apartment without furniture and bought everything. Not surprisingly, I still didn’t feel right. You can imagine how much money and time and energy in the process, only to understand, years later, that to create your home away from home it has little to do with the actual place you are in.
What is home for you?
The first step is to define what the concept of home means to you. For some people, it’s an actual place, with walls, floors, windows and rooms. For other people, the sense of home has more to do with the people that are around you, maybe friends, family or pets. Even though these are the two most common concepts of home, there can be more to it, and we will see how to dig a bit deeper in a minute. No matter how you define home, the FEELING of home has to do with being comfortable, at ease. It has to do with that feeling of being understood and not having to explain everything. It can be a sense of cosiness and feeling accepted, just the way you are.
Digging deeper.
When creating your home away from home, it is really important to know what the concept of home means to you. Not what you think it should be, but what it really is. It might help to remember the last time you felt completely at ease and comfortable. Remember the last time you felt calm and understood, when you felt that sense of cosiness and relaxation.
It might have been many years ago, it doesn’t matter. Bring that memory to the front line and remember the details: where were you? Who were you with? What was the temperature? Were there any specific colours, smells, textures?
During this “digging” process, it’s important to register all that you remember. You can do that by journaling or recording an audio. There’s no right or wrong answer, let the ideas flow and write them down.
One of my clients remembered that her grandmother used to make cinnamon tea when she was little, and she felt cosy when remembering that. It can be anything, even things that might seem weird. It doesn’t matter because once this memory comes to your consciousness, you will be able to integrate that into your new home. I’ll show you how down below.
Putting your plan into action.
Once you have pinpointed and identified your fondest memories of feeling cosy and homey, you can start to put them into action. For example, many people have a sense of comfort from being around family and friends, but they are away from these important people. Well, you can “incorporate” your friends and family members by having meaningful pictures in your new home.
Other people have specific colours that bring them a sense of calm. If this is your case, you can use pillows, curtains, and other accessories to incorporate that specific colour in your new home.
In my client’s case, her memory of home was the smell of cinnamon. Do you know how she incorporated that into her home? She made sure she had cinnamon scented candles in the living room as soon as she moved in.
As you can see, it doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. All you have to do is KNOW what home means to you and how you relate to this feeling. Then you can think about easy and inexpensive ways to integrate it into your new environment.
Here’s your challenge.
If you are preparing your move abroad, this is the best time to do this exercise. Look around your current home and see if there are any patterns that repeat themselves, for example, colours or textures. Then do the digging exercise and see what pieces of furniture or decorations that you might want to take with you to your home.
If you’ve already moved, you can do the internal digging exercise and once you know what your concept of home is, you can incorporate new elements that couple the old and the new in perfect harmony.
If you are planning a move and know that it's not all rainbows and unicorns, check out this FREE Pre-Move Emotional Checklist and be prepared emotionally for the challenges of an international move!
Want to connect with other ex-pats and expats-to-be? Join our Facebook group Expat Connection:
This blog was written by Deborah Dahab: Guest blogger.
