Moving to Portugal
Do you sit at your desk in that depressing open office and imagine yourself living the dream, Portuguese style? Perhaps you think of this little rectangle by the sea as the promised land of sun, sea and sand for your retirement. Or maybe you fantasise about a cute spot on a green hill with a nice not-too-old ruin that you can rebuild and turn into a home.
Moving to another country has its share of difficulties and the best way to adapt is to embrace the local culture. Portugal is no exception. If you believe that adopting the Portuguese culture will mean singing Fado while drinking a jar of sangria with the friendly locals under the hot midday sun, make sure to keep reading for some precious insider tips.
Generally speaking, you can expect quite a few differences between life in cities or towns and life in rural areas, where you’re more likely to have very few neighbours, most of them old, goats may happen too. On a more serious note, it may be helpful to look into a bit of Portuguese 20th-century history, mainly the dictatorship years.
Here’s a short checklist of particular cultural aspects you can expect when moving to Portugal:
Kisses on the cheek: probably not the worst part of life in Portugal but it’s one of the things that make foreigners anxious. As a rule, we give two cheek kisses when meeting someone for the first time or when meeting family and friends. Cheek kisses are informal, in other words, not used professionally (unless there’s already some sort of familiarity). Speed is important: too quick and you risk rubbing noses with the other person, too slow and it will easily become odd. The best way to master it? Practice!
Bureaucracy: it’s a pain. Anywhere in the world. It seems, though, that in Portugal there’s some invisible vortex responsible for making most services understaffed. Not only that, but there’s also always an annoying need for some specific document, a stamp, a signature, something!
Old ladies: their surveillance skills beat that of any high-end camera, although their database can sometimes be a bit faulty. You can count on them to always have paper tissues, unwanted advice and mint flavoured hard candies (for that persistent cough and occasional sugar rush). Expect a few chin hairs as well.
Old Portuguese ladies (see above) can be pretty surprising! For some real examples, go to Youtube and look up Anthony Bourdain’s episode in Porto from the “Parts Unknown” series.
Bidets: although the humble bidet has lost some popularity over the last years it is still going quite strong. We use it mainly to wash our feet and, our, nether regions, although other creative uses are also possible. Yes, we do also shower.
Magic words: adding “Bom dia” (good morning), “Boa tarde” (good afternoon), “Por favor” (please) and “Obrigado” (thank you) to your sentences can make a world of difference, especially when dealing with older people.
Family: it’s a big deal here. Family gatherings tend to be major social events and that includes marriages and christenings. Drunk uncles are a universal truth, by the way.
"Amanhã" (tomorrow): things tend to be slower here. But you probably wanted to slow down anyway, right? Right?
Driving: if you suffer from heart problems please avoid driving in Portugal. If you don’t have much love for your life or if you have nerves of steel, do go ahead though.
Food and coffee: two things the Portuguese love. This is a subject with many different subtleties but usually going for coffee with someone is like saying “I want to meet you, but I don’t have a lot of time”. Going for lunch or dinner can be quite a big deal and, in some contexts, it can mean making business.
Dogs on chains: for this, there is no excuse and no joke to make here. This is something you’re more likely to find in rural areas. Why not join the many Portuguese who volunteer at animal shelters?
Layers: although as a rule, we’re quite friendly and helpful, it may be difficult to actually make close friendships with us. In other words, if we invite you over for a meal at our place that really is a big deal.
Queues: whether it’s in the supermarket, the bank or the local padaria (bakery), if there isn’t a ticket dispenser, you’re supposed to stand in line and wait for your turn. In the supermarket, it’s not unusual for someone with only one or two items to ask if they can check out before you and we don’t usually have a problem with it.
These are only a few obviously general rules and, as always, there are exceptions.
If all else fails, remember the Portuguese method for problem-solving.
Have a coffee and tell yourself you’ll try again tomorrow.